THE INCY BOYS Matt Rieger & Pat Kaiser
There are eight of us “Incy Boys”: Brian, Jay, Chuck, Gary, Steve, Pat, Mike, and Matt. We have maintained a tremendous friendship for almost 50 years, and it all started at Incarnation.
Three of us grew up on Pleasant (the Pleasant Avenue boys), four of us on Pillsbury (Pillsbury Avenue boys), and one on Lyndale (he did not get a name), all members of the graduating class of 1970 from Incarnation School. As young boys, we saw around us much of the turmoil of the 1960s: bomb shelters, Vietnam War, assassinations, race riots, and a counter-culture movement of drugs and an anti-establishment mentality. We, however, grew up in the wonderful environment of Incarnation.
The parish was at its zenith from a community standpoint. The buildings were all completed, there were over 1,200 kids in the school, and Vatican II was starting to have an impact – mostly positive but some negative. We were protected from much of what was negative in the society around us because of the strength of the church and community that we were immersed in. The streets were full of Catholic kids going to and from school every day. We had many good role models in the sisters and teachers who taught us and the priests who were our spiritual leaders. Our families all knew each other from the many parish organizations that included both kids and parents. It was a safe environment; we could be gone all day in the neighborhood playing baseball, football, basketball, marbles, or kick the can and the only worry was getting home in time for dinner.
We experienced the first Incarnation Oktoberfest together and looked forward to 8th grade dances and hayrides. We were kept busy with Incarnation summer plays and a myriad of Incarnation athletic programs coordinated by Jack Marton. There was school choir and a wonderful education program. We celebrated our first confessions, First Communions and Confirmations together in what is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful churches in the Archdiocese. Incarnation Parish and the surrounding community had everything we needed as young people growing up. It was a safe and nurturing environment, and we were fortunate to be able to take advantage of all it had to offer.
We were trained as altar boys at a young age by Father Ralph Goman, a loveable man who always had a twinkle in his eye. Incarnation was his first parish, and he made a number of wonderful relationships he has maintained for over 40 years – including with the eight of us. We all started high school together at DeLaSalle after graduating from Incarnation. When we were just out of high school, Brian’s younger brother, Peter, was killed in a car accident. Father Goman was now at St. John Vianney Seminary at St. Thomas College, but he knew how much anguish we all were going through since we all knew Peter well too. So Father hosted a one-day grieving retreat at the seminary for us. Little did he know it would be the start of something big for the eight of us and also for him.
Since that difficult time, we have gathered every year for a retreat. The location has changed over the years, but the format has remained pretty much the same, with the highlight always being a Mass led by Father Goman. Initially, we think, Father was hoping that one or two of us guys would feel the call to the priesthood, but instead he officiated at some of our weddings; all of us eventually married. As the retreats continued, he commented that he would have to work on one of our sons to become a priest.
All eight of us “Incy Boys” are still married; there have been no divorces. Amongst us we have 26 wonderful children. We have helped each other deal with the deaths of loved ones, family difficulties and family triumphs. We get together for monthly lunches, periodic poker games (always well attended), and have had family camping trips and couples’ Christmas parties in addition to the annual retreat.
When we used to call Father Goman to schedule the retreat weekend, his secretary would say, “Oh, you are one of the Incy Boys,” and that name stuck. We have been the “Incy Boys” for a lot of years and are as proud today of the moniker as we were back then. More often than not when just the eight of us are together, our thoughts and memories go back to those wonderful days at Incarnation. In large part we are who we are today because of the role that Incarnation Church and community played in our lives as young boys growing up. And with a sometimes difficult world around us, we were protected and loved and nurtured. Incarnation helped bring the
eight of us together, and for that we will always be grateful.
A moment to remember... Matt Rieger
You often hear someone ask you, "Do you remember where you were when such and such happened?" Well I remember exactly where I was at the day that President John F. Kennedy was shot. It was typical in those days at Incarnation School with the number of children in each second grade class (there were four classrooms) that those not receiving communion that particular Sunday would be singing in the choir lofts for their classmates.
Well we had just finished practicing in the choir loft at church the songs we were going to sing for our classmates on Sunday when several sisters came over from school to inform our teachers of what had happened to the President. Many of the sisters were crying. Most of us were too young to fully understand what was going on. But we stopped practicing immediately and said several prayers for the President and his family.
Serving Mass at the Convent Matt Rieger
There were always schedules posted for the altar boys so you knew well in advance when you were going to serve mass and where. One time the schedules came out and to my surprise, I was scheduled to serve Mass adn the convent Monday through Friday at around 6:30.
I had never served Mass in the convent and getting up that early was not high on my priority list. At the time, the majority of the teachers at the school were Dominican Sisters and they all lived in the convent on the NW corner of 38th street. This was in the early sixties when they were in full habits.
Well I arrived early to help Father set up for the mass and sometimes the priest was not all that friendly about being up that early either. I remember the sacristy was very small, but the chapel in the convent was very beautiful and also very small. There wer not long pews like in church, but small stalls for one sister to sit and kneel in. The candles were lit and there was incense burning. The lights were down low, you were pretty tired and all of a sudden these almost ghostly figures would arrive in the full black and white habbits and glide into the stalls.
I tried not to make eye contact with them, but usually one or two sisters that had you in class would smile or a wink and it would help calm me down. I did not wnat to make a mistake while serving Mass at the chapel in convent because I was worried that it might a a grade in school.
I only served Mass one week in the convent chapel, in all my years as an altar boy, but I can still remember all of those sisters floating into the chapel for early morning Mass.
